Dear Alice
by DJdreaming
Summary: Bella needs a way to get over the Cullen's leaving...it's very OOC and AU so don't be surprised and also there will be lemons, I'm not sure when but they will be there!
1. Prologue

Dear Alice,

I write this with a smile on my face. I hope that you read this letter before all the others, should you ever read them.

It is the first you will read and the last that I will ever right. It has come to my attention lately that I write to you and don't feel better at all nope not one bit, but then I tell him exactly how I feel and he understands. He makes sure that I'm okay and most of all he makes me happier than anyone has ever made me before.

I love him with my whole heart and before these letters are put in a box in your house I'll have him read them all. I know you are wondering who him is but as you read my letters, one by one you will find out and there are some very detailed letters. More detailed then I care to admit at this point.

At the first letter you will think I'm lying because the first letter is not detailed nor is the second or third even it's not until later that I really start to become more open and reveal all my secrets.

I'm not really embarrassed about it only because the people who have been in my head (you'll understand this later) have seen the same thing I describe.

Alice I may be dead by the time you and the family read these, and I say family because I know that you will show them. But I don't mind they have every right to know. However, by the time you read these depending on if you have a vision about a box in your home, I may be the same age (there's a double meaning behind this also something you will find out later).

I want you to know that I didn't do this for you…not even in the beginning was it for you Alice, it was always for me. It was for me to release pent up emotions and help me get the real Bella back. The way each letter is written changes, some are written as if the event is happening at that time, I like those the best, I'm not sure why but some of these letters will actually read like a book not a letter. I know this because I have gone back and read every single one, I have memorized every word and line and the ones that I don't have memorized, well each letter is typed and saved on my flash drive so I will never forget my past or what has happened in my life.

One day I hope my children will read…some of these, definitely not all because some are rather graphic and I rather my children not read about my…adventures. And I know what you are thinking; I don't have kids at least not yet. Soon maybe or maybe not, I've got years. Insert content smile here and a lethargic feeling. I'm sure Jasper knows what I'm feeling I'd try to describe it but I don't think I can.

I believe it's because he's so close at the moment but I'm not sure.

I'd like you to know Jasper, that I never blamed you and I was never upset and I really do hope that you didn't blame yourself or go to hard on yourself, after all you were a vampire and I was…am a human with blood.

I thought about keeping the originals of these letters but then I thought about it and decided that I wrote them for you, you should have the original.

So Alice, I'm welcoming you to read what you have missed. I'm showing you what went on in my un-readable mind, and I'm hoping we can meet again one day and hopefully walk away with a happy memory of it.

I'd like Emmet to meet him because I think that they would get along either that or Emmet and one of the other guys.

To Fuckward…yes that's you Edward I want you to know that I hate you, and you did the worse thing possible and I have no idea if you told your family what you did that day, but if you didn't they are going to find out.

Alice make sure he doesn't get that first letter because it reveals some secrets about your brother's real personality.

To Carlisle and Esme, you were like parents to me for a little while and it was great to have a constant doctor around without having to go to the hospital but…I guess you will find the truth about that later too.

And Rosalie, no I didn't forget you although the amount you hated me I'm sure you wish I did. Well let me tell you something Miss I'm all that, yes I know your story and I know that you had been through a lot as a human but that doesn't mean you had to be a fucking bitch all the fucking time. You had something that not many people were so lucky to have, love, family, and life. I hope you think about that when you hear about the story of a friend of mine, she wasn't so lucky.

Emmet you were really like an older brother to me, something I had always wished for, I have two now and three who try to act older but aren't.

My story isn't over yet but you're hearing it through these letters, well that is.

I think I'm done now and I'll let you move forward with the other letters now. Each one of you will always hold a special place in my heart…except for Fuckward…yes Rosalie even you have a place in my heart.

Well that's it…please read these letters in order they will make a lot more sense that way.

~Bella

Her voice waivered as she finished the letter, they all looked at each other contemplating what to say or do. They didn't know what journeys the letters would take them on but they knew that letters would cause crying if they had tears.

Jasper turned to Edward and cocked an eyebrow. "Brother what's all the fear for? Maybe you should tell us about what you did to Bella before we read about it."

Edward just shook his head, he looked to Rosalie assuming she would feel the same as he did angry that this girl was having an effect on them but she just shook her head.

Rosalie realized that what the girl had said was right and that Rose was extremely selfish only thinking of herself most of the time.

Emmet had a sense of pride radiating off of him. His little sister had grown up strong and he was happy to hear it and he hoped that he could see her one day all grown up.

Alice looked at the letter and noticed it was dated a few years back; her eyes flew around the room as she wondered where she may be able to get a hold of her sister.

Carlisle was intrigued as he usually was by the things she said and the woman she had become. Carlisle always thought of her as a daughter and to hear her write with such honesty made him proud to have known her.

Esme wasn't quite sure what to think but knew that her daughter had grown up and moved on and that's all she wished for the girl.

"I think we should keep going through these letters." Alice finally broke the perpetual silence that had drawn upon them. None of them even realized that they had sat in silence for hours just thinking over the letter they had just read.

"Yes, Alice, the next letter please." Carlisle's smooth voice added.

Each was anxious and a little frightened as to what they would find in the following letters.

* * *

Alright this is the prologue of sorts I guess. The whole thing will be written in this fashion too. It will be in letter form but I hope to make it not quite like diary entries but to hope it reads more like an actual story I mean there will definitely be a little skipping around but you have to remember this is supposed to be what's going on in her head.

So tell me if I should continue! Thanks!


	2. The Truth Comes Out

Dear Alice,

I've decided the only way I'm ever going to get over your bone headed brother is to write and for some reason I feel that writing to you, is the way to do it.

First let me explain, it's been two months since I've actually done anything other than mope around thinking of your fuck-up of a brother. Now I'm not sure if he told you about how he broke by heart but please let me tell you.

Fuckward said that he wanted to go for a walk and we went into the forest, pretty deep into the forest. Once we were pretty far in he looked at me and said, "Bella, it's over."

"What do you mean? I thought you loved me." Tears had already built up behind my eyes and were starting to fall.

"I mean that I'm done pretending that I love you, the reality of it is Bella that I'm ready to find someone actually worth my time. In fact this whole time I was using you…sort of as a test to find out just how well I can control my blood lust. Watching Jasper this past week has made me realize that it's essential that I leave now before we get too invested and well...I kill you." He said this with an air superiority, like he was sooo much better than me. His hand ran over my face and his thumb brushed my neck, "It does seem rather tempting though."

"B-b-but…" I couldn't speak my throat had constricted and words wouldn't come out.

"See that's exactly what I mean, you can't even formulate sentences." He scoffed.

He smacked me across the face just hard enough that it hurt like hell but wouldn't bruise or leave any marks. "Use your words!" He growled out at me.

"You can't fucking do this to me you prick!" I screamed out tears rolling down my face.

He pushed me down, kicked me in the gut "Don't you ever talk to me like that again you worthless good for nothing!" he spat on me and ran off without one last look in my direction. On the forest floor, lost, and crying out loudly, I couldn't move. I contemplated things during this time sobbing most of my thoughts being along the lines of "Did they all feel this way? Was his whole family playing me?"

Then you were all gone and all your stuff that I had gotten from you was gone-minus the clothes…not sure why though.

It was my cousin Jacob Black that found me that night, him and his giant friends had been called from La Push to help. I didn't get to meet them all, just Jared and Paul. Apparently there is still Quil and Embry to meet.

I had a lot of time to think and I realized something, I was sooo stupid. I mean really Fuckward not only treated me like a pet but he also abused me. His love taps; as he liked to call them, he did it to hurt me. He made the bruises and I some how got conned into making it seem as though I was a klutz, I am not klutzy!

Back home my stilettos are my favorite shoes; in fact I should get those back sometime soon. Not only did I fucking love stilettos but I was a fucking dancer and a damn good one at that! Fucking Fuckward!

With the realization that I was in an abusive relationship I fell into a deeper pit of despair then I thought possible. I don't know why I never did anything about it…oh yeah he's a fucking vampire he could eat me!

Stupid Fuckpire should go die in a fire…ironic that's the only way vampires can die, torn apart and burnt to a nice marble-y fleshy entrée.

Jake has helped a lot; I know I would be in a worse place if it weren't for him.

I've decided these letters are going to have everything in them even the dirty things that may occur…I'm on a mission to get the real Bella Swan back. Not the pansy ass that was Fuckward's Bella…a Bella that let him abuse her…fuck that shit. So not the real Isabella Marie Swan and I will get her back.

This is where I leave you for today.

~Bella

* * *

Sam was absolutely pissed as he sat down the letter. He had heard it before, of course he had. She told him all about her past as he did for her. But reading it after it happened was a completely new ball game so to speak.

The boy…the vampire beat her! He could have killed her! He's a bloodsucker damn it! He felt her walk in before she actually did come in.

"Sam?" She said softly, placing her hands on his shoulders. He put his head back against her stomach, his was in a knot.

"It's different." He chocked out.

"What is?" Bella was confused; she didn't understand what he was talking about. He turned and looked her up and down noticing that she had on a mid-thigh length dress and a pair of knee-high boots. And even with a large heel, she only came to his shoulder when he stood straight up. But she was beyond gorgeous, no one else could ever compare to her.

"Reading it," he pulled her into his arms as he continued. "Seeing the raw emotion that comes with the event having just happened and not two or three months later. It's harder to handle reading about how he broke you. I hope when his family reads this they want to kill him, because I do."

She pushed herself closer to him; she needed to feel the heat of his body, to know that he was there with her all the time. She believes that it has to do with the imprint that she feels this way all the time.

"Sam, it get's worse, if you can't handle it I understand…" Bella tried to calm him with soothing touches and soft caresses.

"Your ridiculous baby, I'm reading all of these before they get sent out and put in the leeches' house. " He smirked widely at her, "I can't wait till I get to read about me!"

* * *

Edward hid in a corner not knowing what else to do while the others surrounded him. Esme had already taken his left arm and Carlisle his right.

Emmett was going in for his leg and Alice wanted to take an appendage hidden under his pants. They all had venom flowing from their mouths and he thought the scariest of all of them was not the God of War but Esme, his mother.

He had never seen her like this before. All of their minds were just blank with rage. He hoped that they would get over this soon so he could talk them into forgiving him like he usually did.

Being able to read their minds it was a lot easier to get people to forgive him then you would think. He knew exactly what to say and when to say it because he always knew what they were thinking.

But, he had a feeling that this time…this tactic wouldn't work so well. As it was he cowered in the corner trying to protect his dick from Alice who was trying to rip it off.

He sighed and finally screamed out "I'M SORRY! OKAY? I'M SORRY!" The herd of angry vampires backed away and Esme sighed.

"I wish that were good enough Edward but its not. That girl was so sweet and innocent and you are a terrible person…people who think vampires are monsters are right, you give us all a bad name Edward and you know what, I think at this point I much prefer Fuckward."

Edward felt his jaw drop, his mother just called him Fuckward…it's like the world was imploding on itself because of one little human girl. Where the fuck was the decency in that?

* * *

So I almost posted this as the first thing but I think I like the prologue better. I'm going to explain real quick how I'm writing this, it's pretty much going to be a letter then a reaction from either Sam and the Cullens or just the Cullens or just Sam. I think it won't be Sam by himself often though because he already knows all of what happened and the Cullens don't. Oh and keep in mind the letter is the very beginning and then the reaction is what happens later on, if it's Sam it's after she just finished all the letters and if it's the Cullens it a few years after.

Anyway REVIEW! Tell me what you think, the next chapters won't come as fast as this one, I just had this one written before the first chapter sooo….yeah review!


	3. A History Lesson

Dear Alice,

Another day, another story. I want you to know that I'm coping but your brother hurt me a lot, let me explain. I felt like the world was a never ending abysmal black hole that just swallowed me and wouldn't let me free. I tried to fight it, oh I did. I kicked and screamed—I screamed a lot to be honest—and I did every thing I could. I ate only to vomit, washing away every thing I had eaten; I slept only to wake up drenched in sweat from gruesome nightmares. The darkness that took a hold over me, was not something I had asked for it just sort of happened.

I tell you this now because I want you to realize what it was like for me when you all left. I understand your reasons but your leaving hurt me more than you can imagine. So thats that but I want you to know that I'm getting over it. I think I should explain how but I don't think my description will do justice to my feelings so instead I'm going to tell you something different.

When I was a freshmen in high school, before you moved here, I was dating a boy. He was a senior and he went to LaPush High. He was Quiluete and gorgeous. His name was Sam and he was my first everything. At the end of freshmen year, Sam disappeared and one day he called me a couple months after.

"Hello?" I answered into the phone.

"Bella?"

"Sam." I gasped, I hadn't heard from him in weeks! "Wher-Where have you been? I've missed you." I felt like my throat was closing.

"Bella, I'm sorry but this isn't working anymore, it's over."

Those words, they broke me. I can't say if they hurt more or less than Fuckward's because the relationship was different than my relationship with Fuckward. I loved Sam from day one. He brought a different side to me and without him I was lost.

Again I can't tell you if it was worse than Fuckward because Sam never physically hurt me, Sam never treated me like a child and Sam was most definitely not a prude. Oh he was the exact opposite of Fuckward, he was tall, dark, and handsome. He didn't dazzle me into doing things like Fuckward did, no, no Sam was just Sam, what he was doing I wanted to do...unless it was stupid but he wasn't stupid.

I moved to Phoenix after that and stayed there for a year. My sophomore year and when I came back you were here and I was no longer the real Bella Swan, no I was this quiet shy girl. Fuck shy, I'm not shy and I never was shy.

This goes with today's story because I saw Sam for the first time in three years today. His full name is Samuel Uley and he was taller and sexier. I thought looking at him I could melt back then but now...now I feel like he's the only things that's holding me on Earth.

I was with Jake, my cousin. We were at the beach when I saw him. He was walking toward us with a few other guys that I didn't know. I quickly calculated how old he was now, if I was 18 and he was three years older than me then he was 21 almost 22 because his birthday hasn't passed yet and then he'll be 4 years older than me.

Our eyes caught and it felt like my stomach was in my throat and my heart was exploding in my chest. My whole world felt like it revolved around him. At first I just stared because what would you do if you were seeing your ex for the first time since you broke up? Not to mention how much you loved him...still sometimes. It was bad.

Jake had to shake me to break me out of the trance I was in.

"Bella, I want you to meet...and re-meet I guess a few friends of mine." Jake said smiling at me. He looked at me closely and I knew that there was horror on my face. I couldn't see him again. What if he had a girlfriend? What if he doesn't remember me? I was freaking out.

They stopped a few feet in front of us and I felt his eyes on me. They were boring into me as I looked at the ground. Then I realized something, I wasn't going to let him beat me. I wasn't going to let this sighting and my internal freaking out be known.

"Jakey, introduce me to your sexy friends." I finally looked up and felt a smirk fight it's way across my face. I knew that if Jake looked at me carefully enough he would catch the fear in my eyes but he wasn't looking. No, he was staring at Sam with a pissed off look.

"Sure, Bella I would like you to meet Sam, Paul, and Jared. Guys this is my cousin Bella." Jake hesitated.

"Well, Paul, Jared, it's a pleasure to meet you." I stuck my hand out and fluttered my eye lashes...no not overly so like Jessica and Lauren do. Just enough to look flirty. They smiled widely at me and kissed the back of my hand.

However, there was some tension in the air with the fact that I didn't even acknowledge Sam. He stared at me his eyes going right to my soul.

"Bella, it's nice to see you again. You look..." Sam stopped not sure what to say.

I sighed. "Just say it, I look like shit I know, but I definitely don't look my worst. That was after a phone call a couple of years ago...it was at the end of my freshmen year of high school." It was cruel I know, but he deserved it.

He looked hurt, but I didn't care and I considered going on but I stopped myself for the moment and turned back to Jared and Paul.

"So boys how old are you?" I could practically feel Jake rolling his eyes at my behavior and he jabbed me in the side.

"Bella, don't be mean to him, he had to do it." He whispered in my ear. I turned and glared at them. I could feel all of their eyes on us as I started to bitch out Jake loudly.

"Who the fuck do you think you are Jacob Black? To tell me how to act in front of the first guy to break my heart? And sure the Fuckpire Fuckward broke me but that was stupid, Fuckward never deserved me. And he tried to fucking eat me first! You fucking asshole, Fuckward actually broke up with me the right way at least. This douche bag broke up with me over the fucking phone after fucking disappearing if I want to be a bitch to him I will be a bitch.

He hurt me so fucking much I had to move away! I had to move to Phoenix to get over him and when I moved back here I had to become a whole new person. So forgive me for being a bitch." I hissed at him. I was pissed off. Jake had no right to act like that. When I saw Sam out of the corner of my eye I noticed him looking at the ground shaking slightly. The other guys just kinda backed away.

Sam suddenly straightened and turned me around so I was standing in front of him. He looked down at me with hurt, love, and rage in his eyes. I didn't know if I should be scared or surprised. He put his hands on my shoulders and when I tried to look down he moved my head so I was looking up at him.

"I had to break up with you. The Elders made me and they wouldn't let me see you. They thought I would hurt you and that wasn't something I could do or they would let even a chance of that happen because you are Charlie's daughter. I never stopped loving you. I dreamt, no I dream, about you every night and I want to find you every day. I miss you all the time."

"How would you hurt me? Huh? Huh? Sounds like bull shit to me!" I stated and I noticed that we were suddenly alone.

"Bella, baby, you have to listen to me. You believed the Cullen's when they told you their secret, will you believe me when I tell you mine?" I was confused with this statement. He knew about the Cullen's? I was confused but he continued. "My secret will change you life more than his did. I say this because you will soon realize that you can't escape me. Not anymore. I won't let you go this time."

I'm pretty sure I was crying. I had no idea what was going on.

"Isabella, I want to tell you my secret but I can't just yet. I have to talk to the Elders. But Bella, I will be around. I'll show up all the time. I need you and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way about me." I knew my eyes were wide and that I probably looked shocked.

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight against him. Before he walked away.

The rest if the day is a blur to me now. I came home after that and started this letter. I've been writing for a while now and I'm positive when I sleep tonight I'm going to dream of Sam for the first time in almost two years.

Sincerely yours,

Bella Swan

* * *

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Next letter come on, come on, come on, come on! I NEED to find out what happens with Sam! Oh my god what is Sam's secret? He knows what we are Oh my GOD!"

"ALICE! CALM DOWN!" Jasper was jumping up and down on the couch uncontrollably.

"Oh sorry." She smiled as she composed herself.

"So she lied to us." Emmett said sadly.

"Good, I always thought she was too much of a pansy. Knowing that it wasn't real makes me feel better." Rosalie chimed in.

Edward just staring off into space processing and trying to figure out what every one else was thinking. He wanted to be let out but they wouldn't let him. Some time in between letters they had torn him apart and created a cage out of his appendages. It as rather awkward to just be a head in a cage of arms, legs, torso, dick, and other pieces.

Esme was sitting thinking of the whole letter before she smiled. "Well, I'm happy. I know now that she's going to be taken care of. We don't know why this Sam wants her so bad but at least we know he'll take care of her."

Carlisle did his hmmm, that came out whenever he was thinking deeply. "I'd like to make a point right now. She said that Jacob Black was her cousin. Jacob Black is a decedent Ephraim Black, who if you remember correctly was the first werewolf we had encountered. With that being said, there is a chance that Jacob is a werewolf and that if he is friends with Sam who is older than them, that Sam is the alpha of the werewolves. Now this can also be stated that if this is all true and Bella is Jacobs cousin, then there is a chance that Bella may phase. Now the chance of this happening is slim to none because there is no historical evidence of a female wolf ever being. And we also don't have proof that the Quiluete boys have phased. This is a waiting game and a lot of reading but that is just what I can see happening. Not for sure but there's a chance. Not that Bella is a wolf though. That is just utterly preposterous." He chuckled to himself as everyone else just stared wide eyed and Alice started to bounce waiting for the okay to get the next letter.

"Okay Alice get the next letter." He sighed in defeat.

"YAY!" she bounded over to the box and picked up the next letter.

"Dear Alice..."


	4. Lizzie and Steven

Dear Alice,

Her name was Lizzie and sometimes she called me Izzy so we could be Lizzie and Izzy. She was my best friend for that year I was in Phoenix. Lizzie was dating Steven and they seemed really into each other. She was always lighting up when he was around. I had never seen her like that before, so happy. As it turns out, Lizzie was a really good actor and well so was Steven.

He really wasn't a nice guy. Steven convinced everyone that he was a terrific guy. I don't trust easily, not after Sam and I thought he was a great guy.

You know what I always found slightly ironic the fact that the word terrible and the work terrific are so close in spelling but so far in meaning, maybe terrific really was supposed to be another word for terrible. And maybe you've never noticed this either but in terrific and terrible is the start or terror. So maybe your catching my drift but probably not.

Steven was a terrible guy. Horrible in fact, he was scum and doesn't deserve to be alive.

I was there that night, when she was found. I actually did find her. Lizzie was a strong person, and she would never commit suicide. I knew it was set up and I did all I could to make them see that and eventually they did. Maybe it was the hand print shaped bruises or maybe it was the tearing and semen left in her vagina.

I'm not sure what they thought when they found her or what they decided or what changed their mind. I just remember being the one to call 911 and being the one to discover her, and I remember the death threat that Steven sent me.

This is why I told Rosalie she was lucky. Because she was found and saved and Lizzie, her mother was to drunk to notice the screams or that Lizzie hadn't moved in the last 24 hours.

I don't think I need to add anymore to this letter. I don't feel like you need to know anymore.

But I will leave with a final note, Sam kissed me today. It was better than before, better than Fuckward, better than any other sensation on the planet.

Anyway good night Alice

~Bella

* * *

"That's it? What the fuck really?" Alice growled.

"Alice LANGUAGE!" Esme glared at her.

Alice slammed the letter down almost breaking the table. "Who does that? Really? TELL THIS INCREDIBLY SAD STORY AND THEN RIP IT OUT FROM UNDER US! I MEAN THAT THING AT THE END? WHAT IS THAT? SAM KISSED ME AND THEN SHE DOESN'T ELABORATE? GAHHHHH!"

Rosalie looked down at her hands, Bella was right, all these years and she thought she had it the worse. This Lizzie girl had it far worse than she did because she didn't live or get her soul mate, she smiled over at Emmett, or have a loving family. All things that Rosalie got in the end.

Edward growled at the letter, no other man had a right to kiss her but him. Only him! No one else!

Jasper looked at Edward feeling his emotions of jealousy and rage and didn't even acknowledge it, he just rolled his eyes and moved on.

"Alice honey, why don't we move on and maybe she'll explain in the next letter." Jasper tried sending her a shit load of calm as well.

She grumbled a "fine" and pulled out the next letter.

"But Isabella Marie Swan if we ever meet again, I will make you pay for that letter." She glared at the wall, scaring her family a little.

* * *

So I realize how short this is, but I thought the suspense would just kill you and that well Lizzie and Steven's story needed to come out at some point!

Oh by the way Disclaimer: I don't own any of this but well Lizzie, Steven, and the the plot and idea of this story...that's mine. I come up with it in the shower! ^.^


	5. That Week

Dear Alice,

I know you are probably pretty confused as to why I bothered to tell you the story of Lizzie and Steven, but it was just my way of letting you into the mind of the real Bella not the Fuckward's Bella.

I also know that you are probably pissed that I didn't give any more information about my kiss. However, that's all your getting. I'm evil I know, sometimes at night I cackle when I think about it hahaha.

Anyway my relationship with Sam is progressing crazy fast and I might even utter the words I love you. I know there's something different about him and the rest of the Jake's friends or the Res Boys as I call them. I sleep with Sam a lot...no we haven't sex again...yet.

Sam's hotter than almost anyone I have ever met, in looks and temperature. He's bigger than anyone I have ever met, and I mean that in relation to...lower as well.

"Bells, I'm going to a police conference in Seattle for a week. Will you be okay on your own?" Charlie spoke to me from across the table.

"Yeah, I'll be good. I'll probably just hang with the Res boys." I smiled at him innocently.

He nodded roughly and kissed me on forehead. Whispered that he loved me and left with bags in hand.

I got up and cleaned the kitchen before running up to my room to shower and get dressed. I put on a pair of jean short-shorts and a tank-top, running a brush through my hair and putting on a lick of lipgloss and mascara. I took the stairs two at a time running down to the Monster (my truck).

I sped down to La Push stopping at Sam's house, you have to understand I haven't seen him in a couple days and missing him is way too easy. It's why I had to leave when he broke up with me because I had the incredible need to constantly see him.

Anyway, when I got there, I noticed that no one was stirring and no one was there which meant one of two things, first no one is home or second Sam's asleep. So I decided to just go in because honestly Sam rarely locks the back door. I snuck into his house and made my way up his stairs and into his room.

His room is painted a dark blue and he has silk black sheet that feel cool against your skin when you lay down. His bed is a full king size and it feels like your sleeping on a cloud.

Sam's chest rose slowly up and down as he breathed in deeply with his sleep. He looked amazing with his sheets tangled around his waist accentuating the delicious V his hips made and showing off his sensual six pack. I couldn't control my actions as I slipped into his bed, putting my head over his bare chest, my ear right over his slowly beating heart.

His arm automatically came around me and held me close.

I don't know how long we laid there and I'm pretty sure at some point I dozed off but I didn't matter because with him I was in heaven, and if we stayed like that forever, then forever I would be happy.

"Bella?" He mumbled his voice husky with sleep. His hand lightly slid down my back, pushing my tank-top up when he moved back up. "when'd you get here?" His dark eyes were hazy with sleep as they bore into me.

I smiled up at him, "Earlier, it doesn't really matter."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because you are too cute when you sleep and it looked to good to resist sleeping with you. Something I've wanted to do and have been thinking about...constantly." he smirked as I said this.

"You think about sleeping with me, huh?" He rolled me over so that I was under him and his eyes were concentrated on my mouth before slowly moving down. He groaned loudly, "You are trying to kill me aren't you?"

"What'd I do?" I asked looking up at him innocently.

"Like you didn't know those shorts would drive me crazy. Minx." He growled out, but before I could retort his mouth attacked mine in a delectable kiss that made my toes curl and my juices pool in panties. Oh I was in trouble.

He took a deep breath breaking away from me. "Mmm baby, I can smell how wet you are for me. It's mouthwatering. Not today but one day soon, I'm going to taste that pussy again and I can't wait." I blushed in embarrassment. I can't stand it, he knows how much I want him. His dirty talking only further drowned my panties and pushed my embarrassment higher.

He chuckled as he sucked the skin of my neck into his mouth, more than likely leaving his mark. He pulled me up and out of his bed. I looked up at him with a small smile playing across my lips. I stared at him and must have had a look on my face because he put his hand under my chin and titled my head so he could brush over my forehead.

I was sure what are relationship was now. I was so sure of us back then but now I just don't know so asking to stay with him while Charlie is away is really nerve wracking. I just don't know what to expect. What if he just feels bad and thats the only reason he's spending time with me, to make up for what happened all those years ago. I was scared because I knew that I was falling for him all over again.

"What's got you thinking so hard sweetheart?" Sam looked genuinely worried about me and I sighed trying to make my previous thoughts disappear.

"Sam? I don't know how to ask this without sounding pathetic..." His brows creased in confusion.

"You know you can ask me anything."

"I know, Sam, okay so my dad went out of town for a week to Seattle for a police conference or something, and I don't really like staying home alone at night and I was wondering if you could stay with me or if I could stay with you. I mean I know we used to do this but I don't know if things are like they were back then. I-" I was rambling and he put a finger over my lips.

"Baby, I would like nothing more than to get you into my bed for a week. Of course you can stay with me. You shouldn't have even asked. Just shown up with a bag." Sam's smile brought out a feeling in my heart that made me want to cry. It was such a good feeling.

"Are you sure? Lately I've been having some pretty bad nightmares and I wake up in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder on the top of my lungs. It scares the hell out of Charlie."

"Bella, I don't care. Plus if you are here I can comfort you and maybe having someone with you will keep there terrors away." I smiled I couldn't help it. Sam was amazing and I would be absolutely nothing without him.

I had to leave him for the rest of the day though and had to go home, make sure everything was locked up, pack a bag for school and stop at the store so I could cook for him.

That night when it seemed like the nightmares were starting Sam woke me up and softly sang me back to sleep. Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley was the song and Sam's deep gravely voice sang it perfectly.

School the next day was like it was everyday. Droning of teachers and high pitched squeals of gossip from students. I try to avoid it all. I spent my school day mostly with Angela, Jessica, Lauren, Ben, Eric, and sadly Mike. Mike and Eric wouldn't lay off constantly asking me out. But I did make a new friend.

His name is Brendan, and he's a football player. He's "like totally the hottest guy in school." I really didn't care that much though. I had my Sam and that's all I needed. I was walking out of school with Brendan, who had his arm around my shoulder making me roll my eyes, and Jessica, Lauren, and Angela who were all arm in arm with me.

We were strolling by my car when "Like OMG Bella, there is a totally gorgeous Res boy leaning against your truck." Lauren squealed. Ow my ear drum. Yes, me and Lauren got over our differences and are friends now.

"Do you want me to fight for your honor, Bella babe?" Brendan asked.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Number 1, don't call me babe," we had this issue regularly, "number two, he would kick your ass and number three, he's my boy friend so no." There was another squeal from next to me and I looked over at Jessica and Lauren with an eye brow raised.

"OMG! Bella, that's Sam isn't it? I to-tally remember him from when you guys went out freshmen year! He's really grown up nicely hasn't he? OMG I can't believe you guys are like back together, I always knew you were like perfect together, like so much better than that Weirdward." I chuckled at the new name Lauren gave Fuckward and launched myself at Sam, who caught me around the waist.

"Ready to go home baby?" He whispered softly in my ear. I smiled at him and kissed him on the mouth. When we came up for the air the whole fucking school was standing there staring at us. I sighed.

"THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE MOVE ALONG!" I screamed at them all. They moved away and Sam grabbed my car keys opening the passenger door and helping me up before getting behind the steering wheel.

"Bella, it wasn't very nice to make me watch you walk with that boys arm around your shoulders." He started like he was angry but I could hear the smirk in his voice. "but seeing as I am to-tally perfect for you, I think I'll let it slip." I feel like I've been doing a lot more eye-rolling today than I usually do.

I stuck my tongue out at him and laughed a little. "Don't make me bite that tongue little girl, you know I will." He threatened.

I smiled as I watched us move into LaPush territory, a feeling of being home passing over me.

Every night he would wake me up and sing me back to sleep so that I wouldn't have to deal with nightmares, and every night it worked. I slept so well this week.

That's how the rest of the week went and I think I was happier this week then I have been in ages.

Charlie did somehow find out about my staying at Sam's all week but for some reason he said he understood and that he didn't mind. He even added that I could stay there whenever I felt like it as long as I told him first.

Fuck it was easier than I had thought...Charlie would have never agreed to that with Fuckward. Charlie hated Fuckward.

Well, that's all loves and fucker.

TTFN!

Bella Swan...oh god Lauren's rubbing off on me!

* * *

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Edward roared. "SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT! MY BELLA WOULD NEVER DO THAT SHIT!"

The rest of the Cullen's glared at Edward not seeing a point in even commenting but just went on talking about the letter.

"She seems so...up lifted and happy." Alice started

"I just hope that if they do decide to progress to the next level they use prophylactics." Carlisle said and they all cringed a little.

"Dad, really?" Rose asked with a slight look of disgust on their faces.

"Well, at least she knows I'm mad at her about the kiss thing." Alice hmphed as Jasper sent calming waves at her.

She scowled at him. "Don't you try to calm me mister!"

He picked his hands up in an innocent motion. "Sorry darlin'"

"Children, why don't we move on to the next letter before we all start a fight." Esme tried to console them while avoiding looking at Edward. "And Edward, stop scowling, it's your own fault she's moving on, get over yourself."

They all nodded solemnly, all except Edward who just grimaced. Esme picked up the next letter, "It's my turn to read." She stated.

"But Mommmm-" Alice started

"Alice hush, let your mother read." Carlisle stopped the on coming complaining as Esme opened the letter.

"Dear Alice," She started.


End file.
